SSDD

SSDD

    Here I am yet again same shit different day.
Im no longer a child but I'm still dealing with your hell.
I still live in your chaos and now we know its the sickness in your mind that makes you so unkind.

But that does not stop your anger.

That does not stop the pain inflicted upon me.
It does not stop the flames from burning me alive.

It does not sustain my mana. You have never protected my pride otherwise.
I wish you loved more. I wish you were the person you used to be.
I wish you loved. I wished you cried more. I wish we were both free.

Im tired of drowning. I find myself drifting away.
Losing everything thats important to me because you hate that which makes me happy.

But I still love you though no longer can I stand to hold your hand.
I love you though the sight of you on my face frightens me.

Im frailer. I am sicker. I am sadder.

You took my home from me and now how will I ever get it back?
I love you.
   and I continue to love you, to care.

One day you will be happy and healed and whole but where will I be?

I can not breath.
I can not eat
I can not live

You make me want to drink bleach.

Thurs 3:44 am March 30th 2017